There had been some flight delays earlier in the week - but Greg's flight was still on time. I lined up a babysitter and started making plans. I knew this was a bit foolish and I should heed everyone's warnings, but things were still looking optimistic. Also, there's only so much you can talk to a 14 month old about before you lose your mind. I needed something to distract myself STAT.
This past Friday night, I went out with Greg's cousin to get our nails done and simply have some fun. (One of the perks of being stationed in Kansas is we hit the Army jackpot and ended up living close to relatives. And they're awesome relatives). We were so excited that homecoming was finally almost here. So excited, that we drank several adult beverages, ate our faces off, and called it a night before 10pm like true party animals.
When we got home, I got the message from Greg. He was devastated to let me know that he would not be coming home on Monday after all. His new homecoming date meant he would miss our anniversary.
To say I was crushed, is an understatement. I got my hopes up, the day was almost here, and I was caught off guard when it came crashing down. Out of the three anniversaries, we've only been able to celebrate one together.
I let myself be a little sad yesterday and today. We watched a little more TV than our usual "maximum" and we ate some not-so-healthy food. We were cheered up by Greg's family coming over and making "Welcome Home" signs, and spent time outdoors to distract ourselves. Over the past few days, I've had a realization.
Some people's spouses never come home.
Some people will spend anniversaries with sadness in their heart and an empty hole that can't be filled.
Some people would give the world to "miss" celebrating their anniversary by just a few days, if it meant seeing their solider walk off of that plane.
After reminding myself of that fact, I had to suck it up and power forward. I've been proud of how I've been able to maintain strength and sanity (questionable) during this deployment. I've pushed on at times where I just did not want to anymore. I wiped away tears when the missing him hurt too badly, and I faced another day daring myself to be stronger. I can't and won't give up now.
I can see the finish line and I'm going pull that last bit of energy from deep inside of me.
I'm going to smash through that glorious tape.