Anyway, a whole lot has changed since I last checked in. I bet you've been on the edge of your seat since March 2016 wondering if I ever gave birth. Well..
Speaking of rude, five months after Riley was born, Greg decided to up and deploy to Korea for nine months. Jeez, if you wanted a little more sleep and a little less chaos, you could have said so! Right before he left, we had to PCS from Fort Benning, Georgia to Fort Riley, Kansas (no we did not name our baby after our duty station, I KNOW YOU WERE WONDERING). We basically spent a total of two months there before Greg headed off to Korea and Riley & I headed back to New York to hang with my family while he was gone.
Before he left, I decided we needed to celebrate ALL OF THE HOLIDAYS that he would miss. Which, let me tell you, WAS ALL OF THEM. This was slightly stressful for all parties involved (or maybe just for me), but it was a hundred and ten percent worth it. Here is some evidence, complete with Greg's forced smile.
I promise I will go into much more detail about the past year of our lives as the posts go on. Or maybe I'm just saying that because I'm drinking wine. Oh my god that just reminded me that I get to drink and write blog posts now. Look out world! If you thought it was crazy before, it's only going to get better.
Here are a few titles that are on the "to-do" list:
- That Time My Water Broke and Greg Didn't Get Towels Fast Enough to Save the Couch
- How to Wake Up Your Snoring Husband While Breastfeeding at 2am By Throwing Two Pillows, the Remote, An Adult Diaper, and Nipple Cream At His Unconscious Head
- Different, Fun & Creative Ways You Can Imagine Killing Your Husband While He Sleeps Soundly
- Breastfeeding: Where Have My Boobs Gone? LOL JK They're on the Floor
- The Seven Stages of Resuming Alcohol Post Pregnancy (Hint: All Seven Stages are Being Hungover)
- How to Be Cool After Having A Baby (Hint: You Will Never Be Cool Again. Until You're 80)
- Top Ten Rap Songs I Never Knew I Had Memorized Until I Ran Out of Lullabies
- Unique Ways to Answer People When They Ask Where Your Baby's Father Is, Such As "Shit, I Can't Remember His Name"
- How to Stop Cursing In Front of Your Child, And Other Stories of Failure
& much, much more.
Stay tuned, folks. It's sure to be a hell of a ride.