You have 4 days left before the big three-oh.
First of all, I deeply apologize that I did not post the countdown yesterday. I know you were terribly disappointed and just a little bit let down that you were spared public humiliation for the day. Don't worry, I'm back!
Remember that time you shaved your beard when I asked you to?
Oh yeah, neither do I.
In fact, whenever I do ask you, I'm pretty sure you put off shaving it for another week just to spite me.
Sometimes I think you have a closer attachment to your facial hair than you do to actual living, breathing, things. This could be because you have:
1) Given your beard a name .