You would think that most people keep to themselves at this ungodly hour. Being from New York (have I mentioned that, yet?), I'm used to people keeping to themselves at ANY hour.
Let me add that I get onto the bus at the very first stop. Let me paint a picture for you:
"You NEED to have one of these organic bananas. They are literally the best bananas I have ever eaten in my entire life it's incredible. Really try one".
He said this while extending an opened brown paper bag.
At first, I didn't do anything except stare at him, because a) I was still half asleep b) I was in the middle of listening to Debra talk about her neighbor's affair - and WHO did this guy think he was interrupting such prime material?! And c) I have never had a strange man offer me his banana before.
He then shoved the bag closer to my face and repeated himself loudly, in case I was, you know, legally blind or hard of hearing. And then...then....he waited.
- politely decline the banana
- completely ignore him and forever exile myself from the bus cult for not being friendly enough
- tell him that I'm allergic to hipsters and therefore "don't do organic". Which wouldn't totally be a lie.
- SUCK IT UP AND POLITELY DECLINE THE F@$KING BANANA!
Out of all of these options, what do I do?
I reach into his bag and take a banana and thank him. That's what. He then takes this as the go-ahead to have a very animated conversation with me. The. Entire. Ride. Do you remember it is not yet 7am?
Luckily, his stop finally comes and as he leaves I give him a way-too-elaborate speech about how I'm going to eat it for lunch.
But I must say, he wasn't a terrible human being and I even felt somewhat satisfied with myself for sucking it up and keeping he and his assorted organic fruits company.
Until I looked around and saw Debra, Joe, Larry, Ron, and Sue all totally judging me.
And with that, all hopes of being accepted to their elite social circle crumbled around me.